I've been abducted by aliens

It happens quite frequently as a matter of fact. It happens every time I find myself driving to the store in preparation for a binge I desperately don't want to happen.

I didn't really want to turn this blog into a detailed account of my eating issues. I can keep that stuff on xanga where it belongs. But I guess this is about more than eating. It's about those times when you find yourself acting inexplicably, not only against your better judgment, but against everything you want and hope for.

It happens to everyone. At some point we all give in to our less than noble, selfish, carnal desires. But when it happens again, and again, and again, and every time you crash and burn, every time you cry over it and promise yourself to do better, and you never do, that's when it gets to be a problem. When you find yourself walking down the aisles of the grocery store (as in my case) fighting every step you take. Jerky, tense, begging whatever higher being there might be for the strength to turn around and go home. You might look like a freak to other people, with the trapped expression on you face, literally engaged in a full-on war in your own mind, but more likely no one will notice.

But it's not you. It took you over, leaving you incapacitated and no longer in control of your own mind, or even your body. It's a terrifying feeling.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. I don't know how to combat this thing that takes me over. I wonder if anyone does.

Guess I just needed to vent a little, I will now shut up.