Meh

I'm really sad and I don't really know why. I just feel like I have so much pressure on me and I'm living so many different lives to keep everyone in my life happy. I'm always the one who has to keep everyone's secrets from each other. And the whole time I have to maintain the ruse of perfect daughter, perfect student, good Christian, blah blah blah. I'm none of that. And right now it seems like years and years of this act have finally gotten to be too much, and I'm self-destructing in any way I possibly can. I try to stop it or slow it down, but it just comes back in some form or another. I'm tired. That's all I can say. Just tired.